I didn’t sleep well last night. Coughed and coughed until 3 AM.
When I woke up this morning, I had about thirteen things on my plate that I needed to get done today—our family is taking off later in the week for a little family get-away.
But I made the mistake of going on Facebook before starting any of my work.
“Haiti Commissioner Orders Christian Aid Ministries (CAM) to appear in court with offender,” read the headline.
What’s this? I thought.
About a week ago, I saw another article going around Facebook telling of five conservative Anabaptist men being sentenced to prison for their involvement or affiliation with sexual misconducts. I know these stories are real. I have friends with similar stories. I’ve had people write me sharing their own experiences. And I’ve had my pulse on a few lone bloggers who are finding the courage and strength to start sharing their stories.
I knew it was only a matter of time until this issue hit on a much larger scene then it has until now.
I just never knew it would come through such a high-profile organization as CAM.
As of the time I write this—4:51pm, June 10, 2019—more than 45 friends and family within conservative Anabaptist circles have shared this article addressing the case involving CAM. It’s probably just scratching the surface of all the shares this article has received.
The story tells the unfathomable account of a CAM missionary, Jeriah Mast, sexually abusing Haitian boys.
Mast befriended young boys, mentored them and scheduled sleepovers, giving him access. The details of acts committed, were similar, with slight variation from community to community, case to case, but similar basic MO. Mast carried with him a bottle of oil for the purpose of the assaults. He went under the guise of loving children and mentoring boys. He offered some gifts and cash, thus using their poverty against them.
Mr. Mast has repented numerous times for ‘moral failure’, offering a vague statement leading those nearest him under the impression that he struggles with pornography, or some personal sexual struggle. Nearly all are shocked to discover that he has, in fact, sexually assaulted so many children or the course of almost 20 years, that no one is quite sure how many there are. That shock intensifies at the discovery that leaders knew and did not send him home or warn the public.
Yet more shocking to some, is the discovery that Mr. Mast used bribes to silence some of his victims. Others say they heard unconfirmed rumours prior to victims coming forward. An attempted rape of one young man, sources say, resulted in Mr. Mast paying to build a house to silence him. (To this I ask, how did no one get suspicious of this type of ‘generosity’?) That gentleman’s brother also received a house. His story, for the most part, remains untold. A mother, whose son was assaulted, received a plot of land, but the deed was never given to her. And another young man was given money which was used to by a motorbike. And now, Haitians say that CAM’s lawyer has offered hush money, and even pressured victims to meet up for the purpose of silencing them.
The Haitian government has since found out about these victims and is calling CAM to account. They hold a Haitian pastor, who is no longer affiliated with CAM, in a holding cell until CAM shows up in court with the offender.
Sadly, it looks as if they have no intention of ever doing so and the local pastor might become CAM’s sacrificial lamb.
The article is lengthy and gruesome—I’m not going to rehearse here. You can read it for yourself.
Haiti Commissioner Orders Christian Aid Ministries (CAM) to appear in court with offender
But what has plagued me all day today, and why I scrapped some of the other things on my agenda to write this post, is a gnawing angst within me that I’m not sure I quite have the words for, but feel compelled to try putting into words in light of this current case.
I’m in the middle of a series on my blog which I call “An Open Letter to My Generation of Conservative Anabaptists.” I just published the second article where I discussed everything I love about the Anabaptist tradition, and I’m in the process of formulating my next article about everything that frustrates me.
This is not that article.
But the news of this case with CAM touches on something that very much frustrates me about conservative Anabaptism.
We praise ourselves for holiness, for abstaining from things of this world. We boast in the fact that the statistics true of mainstream evangelical churches in America are not true of us.
For instance, the divorce rate is significantly lower—at least by observation. I mean, come on—we don’t even have any kind of scientifically proven statistical data on conservative Anabaptist churches. How do we know what we are actually like without observation?
So, let me throw a few things at you.
I currently have 1,768 subscribers to my blog. While it has been down the last year and a half (since I started Bible college and have not been near as consistent and regular in my production of articles), typically at least 7,000 unique visitors come read articles on my blog in a given month. I get so much email into my inbox that I really ought to set aside one day per week for responding to it all. But as much I love interacting with readers, and as much as I love writing, I hate writing email. So, I’m constantly behind.
All this to say in a world with grossly limited statistical data, my observational surveillance seems like it ought to carry weight considering these kinds of numbers.
And ever since writing about sexuality—pornography, same-sex-attraction, abuse—I have observed through my readership that any Barna or Pulpit and Pew statistic on the church as a whole in America translates pretty accurately to the conservative Anabaptist church as well.
Certainly, the raw numbers of divorce and remarriage are different—but the numbers of actually thriving and sexually active marriages appear pretty much the same.
If we delve into pornography, incest, feeling sexually attracted to people of the same gender, sexual abuse, bestiality—you name it—it’s the same.
I never even realized bestiality was still a thing until I started writing about sexual struggles in conservative Anabaptist circles.
This is to say, absolutely nothing about our theology or practice makes us better in regard to moral failure.
I have heard high profile speakers within conservative Anabaptist circles state as facts about our circles stuff that does not flesh out in what I am actually experiencing in our circles.
We are just as rotten as our Protestant cousins or our Catholic forbearers.
Just as depraved and unholy in our self-righteous state.
Our long pants, flowing veils, and aversion to technology aren’t doing anything to keep us from failing morally.
But here’s where everything gets messy for me:
When I read about news like this from CAM or when I observe this stuff I am seeing in the audience of my blog, my stomach churns and I feel like running away.
I have concerns about the conservative Anabaptist church. I think many of our churches function more like Catholic cults than anything else. But there are a few things I can’t let go of, things I see in scripture that no other church tradition seems to be paying attention to anymore.
So, I don’t run away.
I choose to believe the best about ourselves. I hope against hope that my generation can reform the way we function, the way we lead, the way we disciple, the way we handle scripture, the way we handle people.
Then I read stuff like this. And something within me can feel so done and disgusted with it all I want to just throw in the towel.
But what’s the alternative?
I mean, it’s not like the evangelical world is doing any better. Check out news headlines on the Southern Baptist Convention. Look into the dark webs of the charismatic movements such as the New Apostolic Reformation and churches such as Bethel and International House of Prayer. Do research on the Eastern Orthodox or the Catholic church. None of these mentioned are exempt from their scandals of manipulation, lying, covering up sexual misconduct—you name it.
So really, if I’m going to be shaken by this news from CAM, I’m actually heading down a path that will completely deconstruct my faith.
There is not a church without horrendous sin.
So, what’s the use?
What’s the point of God or the Bible and following Jesus?
Is it really just a good-luck charm, a crutch for the intellectually weak?
But I live next door to Hollywood. I work for people in the entertainment business. I replaced light fixtures for the guy who trains the vocalists for Broadway shows.
And they aren’t any better!
You know this just from reading the news, but I’ve caught first-hand glimpses of the hypocrisy and sexual abuse that goes on in that world.
Where can I go where people’s lifestyles match their moral ambitions?
Where can I find a leader whose word matches his private life or whose affection for influence does not freeze him in catalytic moments?
Is there any hope?
After contemplating the news about CAM, and dialoging with others about it, I went back on Facebook and saw a Relevant Magazine headline about The Village Church in Dallas/Fort Worth, where Matt Chandler pastors.
“Report: Matt Chandler’s The Village Church Mishandled Sex Abuse Claims,” this headline reads. But if you read a little further and do a little research, you discover the headline is slightly misleading. I’ve noticed Relevant Magazine doing this more and more. It’s as if we live in a culture just waiting to catch someone and pounce on them—specifically high-profile people, or people who professed a higher ideal of moral integrity.
And yes, the stakes are higher for those kinds of people!
But the “me too movement” has catapulted into action a trend of scouring high and low for every moral failure and then blasting it all over the web as bringing to light hidden sins.
Anymore, it feels as if people are hunting for sexual assault stories not because they care about truly restoring victims but because it serves as ammo against organizations or denominations they’re wanting to discredit.
These kinds of sins are not limited to one system of theology or practice, and this isn’t how we solve the issue.
Sexual abuse is an extremely serious issue with implications far more reaching than we often realize.
It’s not as simple as bringing to light hidden sin. This kind of news shatters the narrative many sincere Christians live from. It messes with how one views everything they’ve been taught.
I’m talking about the victims as well as those who hear the news and listen into the conversation.
These types of instances cause one to question who they can trust, what leaders they can depend on.
Millennials are all about fighting for causes, and right now the trendy cause is sexual abuse victims. Sometimes I wonder, however, if those of us joining the bandwagon of bringing to surface hidden sexual abuse scandals truly care about restoring people in their connection with Jesus?
Because simply blasting these types of stories without a Gospel-centered framework through which to sort through this kind of atrocity coming from people who claim to be spreading the Gospel can cause someone to stumble in their faith.
I’m not suggesting sitting back and doing nothing. That has already caused many to stumble (and fall) in their faith.
Neither am I proposing simply extending grace to perpetrators and withholding consequences. Such crimes must be punished and properly dealt with!
We need deep transformation in the church.
A gut-wrenching overhaul!
We need to hear these stories.
We’ve GOT to STOP acting as if these kinds of sins don’t exist among us. We must stop covering it up or trying to resolve things quickly and quietly so we can get back to normal.
But we need people who are gentle.
We need people who recognize that being a Christian is not about being someone without fault.
We also need people who realize the best church or organization is not the one who has no issues within itself.
We all have fault.
Every one of us is poisoned with the propensity to do things outside of God’s design.
Every one of us does things outside of God’s design. And every one of us find clever ways to cover it up as not as bad as it really is.
Transformation in our churches is not about purifying ourselves of any sexual misconduct so we are never caught with it again.
Holiness isn’t about being better in the stat box than other denominations.
Christianity isn’t only valid because we aren’t haunted by the sins of fallen humanity.
Christianity is valid because Jesus is real.
Holiness is something we are when touched by the Spirit of God.
Transformation is realizing that every one of us is broken and capable of doing the same horrendous sins.
Only Jesus gives us the peace with God we’re all looking for—the peace we tend to think living with a clean slate can only give us.
What I long to see are conservative Anabaptist churches where victims can share their stories and the community grieves with them, believes them, and does whatever it takes to help them experience safety and find healing.
I long to see conservative Anabaptist churches where perpetrators are confronted, forced to reckon with the consequences of their actions, and surrounded with a group of people committed to gently helping them find the freedom and wholeness they also need.
It’s okay if a church is unhealthy and messy. Being unhealthy and messy is not the issue. It means it’s made up of people whose hearts have a pulse.
The issue is how are we dealing with our unhealth and our mess?
Do we run and hide? Do we make excuses for sins? Do we brush them off as not that series?
Do we jump on trendy bandwagons that make us feel as if we’re doing something important because we know how to call foul (even though we’re not doing anything to help the situation)?
Or do we crawl into the ugly gutters of these messy situations doing whatever it takes for the betterment of those involved, not concerned about how it makes us look but totally committed to helping each other thrive?
Because, after all, it could be you whose sins are brought to light.
It could be you whose privacy and innocence are completely destroyed.
How would you wish people responded if any of this was you?
*Feel free to respond in the comments below.
