Today is my Dad’s birthday; his first without Mom. One of the things I’ve watched him do a lot this year is first-things without Mom.
I don’t always like the idea that God specifically designs our trials for us. It shakes my trust in God to think that the very One I go to for true unconditional love dealt me that which hurt so much.
Perhaps what has kept me going in some of my toughest times is to see my earthly father’s unwavering hope and dependence on his Heavenly Father to get him through the dark times. Dad’s dependency on God has deepened tremendously since Mom’s death. I wish it didn’t have to be done through losing her—it seems like something else could have worked the same in him. But this is the path God chose. We don’t know why; but, we do know He is still our only true source of unconditional love. Dad testifies to this.
But I really begin to waver in my trust when I consider the possibility that my Source of Love not only likely designed my trials specifically for me, but that He also sometimes withholds the reason behind a specific trial I face.(1)
I like answers. I think explaining why you do something is a part of understanding each other and being reconciled with one another. However, my loving Heavenly Father doesn’t guarantee an answer. He only promises that He will be with me.(2) He doesn’t commit to one day speaking to me and telling me the reason. Neither does He assure that I’ll always feel Him. He simply promises He is present with me through all of life.
I’m slowly learning that if I am going to flourish in my walk with Christ I must believe that Christ is who He says He is: the Son of God come to reconcile us back to the Father.(3) The only way to make it through the trials in life (and the joys) is by surrendering deep within my heart to a belief so strong I’ll die for it that Christ is my direct connection to God the Father and in Him I am held securely.(4)
I can hear my Savior calling, I can hear my Savior calling,
I can hear my Savior calling, “Take thy cross and follow, follow me.”
I’ll go with Him through the garden (of suffering), I’ll go with Him through the garden,
I’ll go with Him through the garden, I’ll go with Him, with Him all the way.
(Chorus) Where He leads me I will follow, Where He leads me I will follow,
Where He leads me I will follow, I’ll go with Him, with Him all the way.(5)
(1) Consider the story of Joseph (Gen 37-50), God specifically designed Joseph’s trials in order that he would be set up as governor over Pharaoh’s kingdom so that Israel would be saved when the famine hit and God’s people preserved. Joseph was able to see this in the end, nevertheless, as he experienced it, I’m sure it was confusing at times, yet it was still God’s design. Or take Job, I don’t see anywhere in the book of Job that explains to Job why things were happening. As outside readers looking in, we get the privilege of seeing God and Satan’s conversation, but I doubt Job did. He had all those awful things happen to him with no explanation—ever!—of why it happened. Simply He discovered that God is in control and sovereign over all—blessed be the name of the Lord!
(2) Do a search for how many times God says throughout the Bible “I am with you.” It blows me away every time. My personal favorite is Isaiah 41:10
(3) Col 1:19-20 – For it was the Father’s good pleasure for all the fullness to dwell in Him, and through Him to reconcile all things to Himself, having made peace through the blood of His cross; through Him, I say, whether things on earth or things in heaven. Also, study the book of John.
(4) John 14:6 – I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me.
John 15:9 – Just as the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you; abide in My love.
John 8:36 – So if the Son makes you free, you will be free indeed.
(5) Where He Leads Me words by Ernest W. Blandly, 1980
