Why Romance Doesn’t Last

asher & teresa at usc

“Romance doesn’t work.” At least that’s what I told myself on January 12, 2013. Two months after our wedding.

We have a skewed perception of romance in our modern culture. What we consider romance really doesn’t last. It’s shallow, self-centered and conditional. Yes, even as Christians we say “I do” with very selfish motives.

Do we have to grow old and stale as so many couples do? If we pursue romance for the purpose of feeling affection, then at the point those affections are no longer appropriately met, we will probably withdraw and our romance will die. But there’s another way.

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“I asked her out and she said ‘No'”

angry lady rejecting man with flowers

What’s a guy to do when he asks the girl of his dreams out and she turns him down? Or maybe they were dating, but she decided to break it up. Does that mean it’s over for good?

This week my wife and I are celebrating our third anniversary. I find it hard to believe it has been three years already because I remember so clearly how scared I felt when I first called Teresa’s Dad. I pushed it off for about a week. I was afraid that I would receive a “No.”

We have this thing called courtship, modeled after our “romance patriarchs”: Isaac and Rebecca, and Boaz and Ruth. As I understand it, the goal is to have a romantic relationship built by serving each other and around the purpose of pursuing marriage as opposed to simply having fun. But is what we call courtship in crisis?

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