Growing up as a conservative Anabaptist, one of the common questions we discussed as young adults was, “How do you know when you’ve met ‘The One’?”
“How Do I Know I’ve Met ‘The One’?”
Tag: romance
5 Signs You’re Not Having Sexually Healthy Romance
At the core of sexually healthy romance is connectedness with body and soul as a couple. Here are five signs your romance isn’t as healthy as it could be.
It’s Okay to Enjoy Valentine’s Day
At the end of the day, I think what we are all looking for is verbal recognition that we matter, that just because I’m not at the same stage of life is you doesn’t mean one of us is missing out on something.
Do Valentine’s Celebrations Help or Hinder the Church?
As a married person, dating person, or single person, Valentine’s Day can help each of us remember the love we all long for. We all want a place where we can belong. We want a place where we are cherished and valued, respected and admired.
The Most Important Thing You Can Do to Prepare Yourself for Love
Today, as I look back on the years I desperately wanted a Valentine, but didn’t have one, I wish someone had told me about the most important thing I could do to prepare myself for love—for these years of marriage and children and all things romance.
When a Girl Says “No,” Should the Guy Ever Ask Again?
Question Submitted: If a man asks permission to date a lady and she says “no,” should he consider asking again?
One Ridiculously Simple Way to Start a Relationship
One week before asking Teresa Janae Miller out, I drafted an email to her Dad. Before hitting send, however, I chickened out and waited a few more days.
I was scared! I was afraid of being turned down. Afraid I was doing the wrong thing—that it wasn’t God’s will. Afraid of entering another relationship that would only end in pain. When I finally mustered enough confidence to send it off, I was stunned how easy it was.
I’m not sure we should take dating so seriously. Yes, take finding a future partner seriously, but not so seriously that you’re scared stiff to pursue (or be pursued). Give it a chance. It doesn’t have to work. But finding out if it could, really isn’t that difficult.
The Stuff of Intimacy
In my last post, I said we can live without sex, but not without intimacy. Having a great sex partner is not the key to sexual gratification. Finding the most beautiful spouse in the world won’t keep one from lusting after others. The desire for erotic pleasure comes as the result of a lack of meaning and purpose and nothing in life is truly meaningful without its relational value.
What I didn’t say in that post is what intimacy looks like. I didn’t really explain how to have meaningful relationships.
As I said before, I don’t necessarily feel like an expert at relationships yet, but I am slowly learning. The story of Adam and Eve in the Garden with God provides excellent training material.
You Can Live Without Sex, But Not Without Intimacy
Can I tell you a secret? Having a great sex partner is not the key to sexual gratification. Finding the most beautiful wife in the world won’t keep you from lusting after other women. The desire for erotic pleasure comes as the result of a lack of meaning and purpose and nothing in life is truly meaningful without its relational value.
Sixty-four percent of Christian men view pornography at least monthly. Thirty-seven percent look at porn several times a week. I know what it’s like to be addicted to pornography. I thought the struggle came from my strong sexual drive.
But as I came to experience freedom from lust and the addiction to erotic pleasure, I learned part of what held me captive for so long had little to do with sex and more to do with intimacy.
What You Need to Know about Romance before Getting Married
Romance, the way we perceive it at first, like the ecstatic feeling of affection on the first date, or the hot sparks and fireworks that electrify your phalanges at the first kiss—that kind of romance doesn’t work.
Here’s why: Romance then is based on feelings of affection. It’s like being excited for the first time your traveled overseas: the only reason it’s exciting is because it is something new (and because you haven’t experienced many new things, yet).
Those feelings won’t last. They never do.
How to Know She’ll Say “Yes!”
“You just know when it’s right.” That’s what everyone says when asked how to know when you’ve met the right person to marry. Sometimes, it feels like a cheesy cop-out.
Dating relationships are risky. You get to know each other and see if it’s a fit. The time span of that differs. The depth of relationship may differ, but when the time is right for marriage, you have a mutual sense of agreement. You really do “just know,” and engagement is simply a formal declaration of what is already felt.
However, sometimes we can oversimplify complex questions we face in life. I believe the four questions posed in the following article can help any guy identify whether or not he’s ready to propose and whether or not she may be ready to say yes.
Why Romance Doesn’t Last
“Romance doesn’t work.” At least that’s what I told myself on January 12, 2013. Two months after our wedding.
We have a skewed perception of romance in our modern culture. What we consider romance really doesn’t last. It’s shallow, self-centered and conditional. Yes, even as Christians we say “I do” with very selfish motives.
Do we have to grow old and stale as so many couples do? If we pursue romance for the purpose of feeling affection, then at the point those affections are no longer appropriately met, we will probably withdraw and our romance will die. But there’s another way.
