Tag: marriage

11 Simple Values I Appreciate from My Anabaptist Heritage

By Asher Witmer Popular Posts, Spiritual Formation
worship service

Heritage is powerful. God saved Lot because of his family heritage through Abraham. If it wasn’t for Abraham’s intercession, Lot would have destroyed along with Sodom.

Everyone who knows the story of Lot remembers that his family became enemies to Israel. God pronounced judgement on them. The godly heritage of his uncle, which could have been passed on, was destroyed.

Why? Because of Lot’s choices. He chose the better fields, subsequently, “pitching his tent toward Sodom.” (Gen. 13:8-13) He later lived in the city of Sodom and would have gone up in flames with it if it wasn’t for Abraham. (Gen. 18:22-33)

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10 Sure-Fire Ways to Ruin Emotional Intimacy with Your Wife

By Asher Witmer Romance & Family
couple disconnected

Teresa and I have had a few fights. We’ve never thrown things at each other. Just words. Actually, it surprised me how soon into our marriage we struggled with this.

I think I thought we had figured everything out in our courtship. I considered myself a pretty caring and sensitive man. But I had yet to learn the relational habits that lead to emotional disaster.

Guys, if you want to guarantee conflict with your wife, you need be sure and practice these simple principles as often as possible. They will eat away at any connection the two of you have and create a wall of silence and frustration.

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Worn-Out Parents Like to Hear This Important Truth

By Asher Witmer Relationships, Spiritual Formation

I used to think that to develop holiness you need to develop good spiritual disciplines. But when I got married and started having children, I ran into trouble.

No matter how hard I tried and no matter how disciplined I had been before, my “good spiritual disciplines” kept getting interrupted by the responsibilities of marriage and parenting. It’s not uncommon for my wife and I to stay up late talking. Those times are good and needed. But then it’s harder to wake up in the morning.

Recently, this happened on a Friday evening and I thought we’d be able to sleep in the next day because it’s Saturday, right? Both our boys woke up at 6:30 the next morning. We had been up ‘till after midnight. It had been a busy week. All I wanted to do was sleep!

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3 Unrealistic Expectations I Had of Parenting

By Asher Witmer Romance & Family

One of my greatest joys in life is parenting. I love my sons. I love working with my wife to raise our boys. But I’ve been realizing that I have unrealistic expectations of what good parenting is.

Lately I’ve noticed an underlying sense of anger. Little things get me all riled up inside, like my son pulling out the dishes for the fifth time of the day or repeatedly emptying the laundry basket. I wasn’t sure where the frustration was coming from, but it was killing me.

The other day I was reflecting on this issue, knowing something had to change but not sure what to do, or even what the problem was. Then I had a thought and I think it came from God: I have unrealistic expectations of what parenting is like. And those expectations are killing me.

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Love, Hate, and the Sacred Marriage

By Asher Witmer Resources & Reviews, Romance & Family

Marriage is intense! The overpowering sensations of finally marrying the lady you love is enough to make the most pragmatic guy lose his balance. But why don’t those feelings last forever? What causes the thrill of it all fade within a few months?

Yesterday, my wife and I celebrated our second anniversary. That’s not a long time, but there are days it feels like a miracle that we made it this far.

I remember within a few weeks after our wedding—after I ambitiously committed to gently loving my wife forever—getting so frustrated with her. It surprised me. Sure, I knew we’d bump into differences at some point, but what shocked me most was how soon I had evil thoughts about her.

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When Joy Is Touched with Pain

By Asher Witmer Popular Posts, Spiritual Formation

I don’t understand why God took Mom four days before my wedding. Now that our son, Kenaz, is born—she misses that as well. I don’t understand His purposes. But I do know that I can’t place my security in anything or anyone on this world. I can pursue people. I can seek to deeply connect with my family. I can pour my heart into ministering to those God leads across my path, but I can’t place my security in them. That belongs to God. He created me. He designed me. He’s where I’ll find full security and approval. And moments of pain are moments to worship Him. Those moments are reminders to not allow the joys of this earth to dictate us, for they are incredibly shallow in comparison to the joy of relationship with Christ. And one day we’ll see Jesus. He’s the glorious Person of Heaven. He’s what we live for. He’s who we die for. Heaven isn’t about living in eternal luxury; it’s all about living in eternal fellowship with Christ.

If pain keeps my eyes fixed on Him, and if joys of this earth can sometimes distract my eyes from Him, then I really can be thankful when my joy is touched with pain.

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