Growing up as a conservative Anabaptist, one of the common questions we discussed as young adults was, “How do you know when you’ve met ‘The One’?”
“How Do I Know I’ve Met ‘The One’?”
Tag: dating
Date Sexually Free
The following article is an excerpt of my free eBook, Date Sexually Free. My wife and I wish we had learned these lessons before dating.
How My Past Porn Addiction Impacted My Marriage
A daughter or friend is currently dating someone who has confessed to struggling with porn, and you are seeking wisdom in how to counsel her.
When a Girl Says “No,” Should the Guy Ever Ask Again?
Question Submitted: If a man asks permission to date a lady and she says “no,” should he consider asking again?
One Ridiculously Simple Way to Start a Relationship
One week before asking Teresa Janae Miller out, I drafted an email to her Dad. Before hitting send, however, I chickened out and waited a few more days.
I was scared! I was afraid of being turned down. Afraid I was doing the wrong thing—that it wasn’t God’s will. Afraid of entering another relationship that would only end in pain. When I finally mustered enough confidence to send it off, I was stunned how easy it was.
I’m not sure we should take dating so seriously. Yes, take finding a future partner seriously, but not so seriously that you’re scared stiff to pursue (or be pursued). Give it a chance. It doesn’t have to work. But finding out if it could, really isn’t that difficult.
When You Need to Define Your Relationship
What if you find yourself in a relationship where you both connect, it seems as though you both like each other, but you’re not sure. How do you know if the other wants more? And if you’re the girl, how do you go about finding that out? Should you have a “define the relationship” talk?
In this post I share a few pieces of advice, from my experience, that I believe can be incredibly helpful to those caught in this kind of situation.
My Boyfriend Struggles with Porn, What Should I Do?
What if you’re dating right now and your guy is looking at porn? What should you do?
I’ve been one of those addicted to pornography. I am also one who is free, today. Telling my wife-to-be the story of failure was the most difficult thing I’ve done. Yet, it was also really healing.
So, in an effort to help couples navigate their own relational turbulence, especially when it involves sexual sin, here are a few things I suggest you do if your man, the guy you deeply care about, is hooked on porn.
We Have a Courtship Dilemma
As I listen to other people in my generation I hear an increasing frustration with our courtship model. This seems to be true regardless of background. Is courtship as we know it today the way it should be?
Here’s how I’m approaching this post: I’m going to offer my perspective and then I want to hear yours. I love discussions, so let’s have one. I want to hear from other married people, but I also want to hear from singles. I want to hear your frustrations and desires.
Something has to change, and in order to influence change we must first have a conversation about it. So let’s talk. Let’s not argue or try to get everyone to understand ourselves, but instead let’s try to understand everyone else.
How to Know She’ll Say “Yes!”
“You just know when it’s right.” That’s what everyone says when asked how to know when you’ve met the right person to marry. Sometimes, it feels like a cheesy cop-out.
Dating relationships are risky. You get to know each other and see if it’s a fit. The time span of that differs. The depth of relationship may differ, but when the time is right for marriage, you have a mutual sense of agreement. You really do “just know,” and engagement is simply a formal declaration of what is already felt.
However, sometimes we can oversimplify complex questions we face in life. I believe the four questions posed in the following article can help any guy identify whether or not he’s ready to propose and whether or not she may be ready to say yes.
10 Books That Helped Me Better Understand Marriage
Before I got married, I read as much as I could about marriage and relationships. That’s typical of how we humans do life, isn’t it? Get it all figured out beforehand so nothing surprises us and we can maintain control.
After I got married, however, I discovered some parts of marriage were drastically different than I had imagined as I read books about it. I think it’s awesome to be “ahead of the game” in learning about marriage before we’re faced with the in-moment difficulties of communicating and relating. Yet, I think it’s helpful to take it all in smaller bites. We don’t have to read them all before marriage.
In this post, I’ve made a list of the top ten books I’ve read so far that I believe are must-reads for every young couple. I’ve also listed my suggested time when you should read them. Following my timelines and reading each book in the order I have laid out here in this post will guarantee you a successful and happy marriage for at least forty-two years. (Okay, maybe I’m joking.)
6 Powerful Principles for Understanding the Role of Affection in Courtship
I pulled in the driveway, parked the car, and shut off the engine. What an incredible night! We had eaten Subway (Teresa’s favorite fast-food) down by the river, then walked under the slowly setting sun until it was too dark to go any further. Since we weren’t finished talking, we decided to take a drive out towards Red Canyon Park. The moon was full and bright and I felt elated!
All I could think about was kissing her. She was so beautiful and I was completely enthralled with her.
At one point, I pulled off the side of the road and asked if I could hold her hand. I immediately retracted my request because I realized how it put her in an awkward place. She should not have to be the one protecting our sexual relationship. We had decided that we wouldn’t hold hands, not like that. It’s just that I felt such incredible desire for her I thought maybe we could do it for a little bit.
“I asked her out and she said ‘No'”
What’s a guy to do when he asks the girl of his dreams out and she turns him down? Or maybe they were dating, but she decided to break it up. Does that mean it’s over for good?
This week my wife and I are celebrating our third anniversary. I find it hard to believe it has been three years already because I remember so clearly how scared I felt when I first called Teresa’s Dad. I pushed it off for about a week. I was afraid that I would receive a “No.”
We have this thing called courtship, modeled after our “romance patriarchs”: Isaac and Rebecca, and Boaz and Ruth. As I understand it, the goal is to have a romantic relationship built by serving each other and around the purpose of pursuing marriage as opposed to simply having fun. But is what we call courtship in crisis?
