We Cannot Advance God’s Kingdom by Pounding Plowshares into Swords

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With the uprise of gun violence in churches, should we consider securing ourselves with armed security guards? With the threat of North Korea and a nuclear strike, should America preemptively strike them first? America’s militarism is justified, right? I mean, God ordains violence when used by good government, not?

Well, allow me to turn your world upside down. I think we’ve had this wrong all along.

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Communication, Sex and Finances—Surprise, Surprise!

Marriage has been incredible, really. I could not be any more blessed than I am with such a beautiful, godly wife. But there have been a few surprises in marriage, the kind I wish someone had told me about before we said, “I do.”

So, in the spirit of love and concern for all those who have yet to stand hand-in-hand at the altar of matrimony, let me share the five most jaw-dropping surprises I’ve faced in the first five years of marriage.

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Grieving Behind the Curtain

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Today marks five years since Mom was killed in a car accident. I think the most difficult thing about losing someone you love is that while the world goes on, while everyone else’s life continues as they’ve always known it, yours remains shattered. Loss shatters the world. Especially, the loss of life. And a family who has lost a Mom is just as wounded five years later as they were the day she died.

Now, I know not everyone’s life continues on as normal. Others, if not most, experience their own wounding as well. And that’s just it: we get caught up in our own wounds and forget those next to us.

So, as I sit here today, remembering the day Mom cared about my heart, and as I take my family to visit her grave, my boys wondering if there will be toys at Grandma’s grave, I think of all those I have met in the last five years who have also lost loved-ones. I think of those who grew up without a Mom. At least without a Mom who cared for them. And I’d like to share some of my favorite Scripture verses in my journey of grief.

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When You Need to Define Your Relationship

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What if you find yourself in a relationship where you both connect, it seems as though you both like each other, but you’re not sure. How do you know if the other wants more? And if you’re the girl, how do you go about finding that out? Should you have a “define the relationship” talk?

In this post I share a few pieces of advice, from my experience, that I believe can be incredibly helpful to those caught in this kind of situation.

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My Boyfriend Struggles with Porn, What Should I Do?

What if you’re dating right now and your guy is looking at porn? What should you do?

I’ve been one of those addicted to pornography. I am also one who is free, today. Telling my wife-to-be the story of failure was the most difficult thing I’ve done. Yet, it was also really healing.

So, in an effort to help couples navigate their own relational turbulence, especially when it involves sexual sin, here are a few things I suggest you do if your man, the guy you deeply care about, is hooked on porn.

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When You’ve Messed Up Your Life with Porn

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I was thirteen when I first looked up pornography. There was a three-day period when I didn’t care whether it was right or wrong—I fully indulged. Calculating times when I knew people wouldn’t be around, planning my strategy for searching, worshiping, and retreating.

But then I got caught. And once I knew I couldn’t get away with it, when I realized how violating my “acts of worship” were, I felt engulfed by shame.

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And the winner of the giveaway is……..

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Well folks, it sure has been fun running a giveaway! I decided from now on, that’s all I’m blogging about. I got more comments than I ever have before. 😮

So, maybe I’m just messing with you. BUT, there is one special person who won’t have to fork out $10.15 to read Luci Miller’s Anything But Simple this fall. And that person is….. *drum roll please*…… 

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Anything But Simple

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Plainspoken is a project focused on giving “plain people” (Amish, Hutterite, Mennonite) their own voice. Many novels have been written about “plain people”—Amish love tales, to be specific. But few of them actually depict the reality of life for those who come from “plain” backgrounds. Luci’s book is a personal memoir of her life as a Mennonite. So, upon her request, following is my review of Anything But Simple.

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9 Ways You Accidentally Make Your Husband Feel Little

I suppose it is only fair, after writing about how we men make our wives feel ugly, that I address how women make their husbands feel little. Not because I want to hit women over the head with how they’re failing us husbands. Rather, just as women can feel ugly from small gestures on our part, we sometimes feel little by seemingly innocent actions from them.

In my last post, I talked about nine ways husbands accidentally make their wives feel ugly. Here I’ll share nine ways wives accidentally make their husbands feel little. As a lady wants to feel beautiful and wanted, a man wants to feel capable and needed. These are nine subtle ways wives undermine their husbands.

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9 Ways You Accidentally Make Your Wife Feel Ugly

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Before getting married, I thought being a good husband was about “being ahead of the curve.” In an effort to do so, I devoured as many books on marriage and women as I could possibly find. And I learned a lot!

But there were a many things I never learned about in any of those books. One things was the many ways I accidentally make my wife feel ugly. Maybe one could change the word ugly for small or unwanted, but the point is after five years of marriage I am slowly waking up to the ways I unwittingly make my wife feel like mush.

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