Someone recently submitted the question, “Where do we draw the line of fellowship with those who say they believe in Jesus but practice and teach things different from what we believe, such as going to war, being divorced, don’t wear head-covering, and so forth?”
This person said they have recently gotten a glimpse of the bigger work God is doing throughout the world beyond their own denomination of Christians, but they struggle to know how much to except as Christian and how much to stay away from as perhaps heresy or false teaching.
It’s a great question and, to be honest, something I am personally still processing.
So, I don’t feel I have many answers. However, I have done a fair amount of searching scripture for myself as well as talking with other mentors about these types of things.
Instead of laying out answers or responses to this question, I’m simply going to share some questions I ask myself or mentors have asked me as I process this all. Hopefully, together we can grow and search the Scriptures and find a healthy way forward.
Like this reader, many of us want to be a part of God‘s bigger work in the world, but we bump into people who do not practice or believe everything we see as essential to Christian life. So, we feel confused about how much to except as Christian, and we feel hesitant about pursuing those people further.
In fact, sometimes it feels easier to pursue those we know don’t agree with us about God then it is to pursue someone we know actually agrees with us about God, but has a different perspective on how he works and relates in the world.
What’s particularly frustrating about this dilemma is that Jesus wasn’t Anabaptist, Baptist, Pentecostal, or Presbyterian.
He wasn’t anything. He was Jesus. The son of God. First century Christians who followed him knew they were following Jesus, not some strange philosophy of man.
They actually faced many false philosophies then, as well. But it feels much more confusing because today there are so many philosophies and so many interpretations of Jesus’ own teachings.
What is essential? What isn’t essential?
And if it’s not essential, is it worth hanging on to as a doctrine or practice?
Where do we “draw the line”?
I think it’s important that we (1) ask the right questions, (2) focus on the right issue, (3) embrace who we are, and (4) let Jesus handle the unknowns.
Let me explain what I mean.
Asking the Right Questions
Any question you have about God, faith, scripture, Jesus, is probably a right question. What I’m learning is that we don’t usually struggle so much with having answers to our questions; we struggle with not asking enough questions.
One question might be “Why draw a line?” Where do we get the sense that somehow we need to distance ourselves from certain people? Is this concept of drawing a line biblical?
If so, “What are some things scripture seems to suggest are worth drawing a line over?”
Take time and process this yourself. Search scripture personal and figure out what it says about how to relate with other believers who disagree with you theologically. Let me give you a few places to start if you’re drawing an absolute blank.
- Confessing Christ as Lord—1 John 4:2, 15 & Romans 10:9.
- Not associating with people who are living sensual lives—1 Co. 5:11.
- Doing the word versus hearing the word and not doing it—James 1:19-27
Focusing on the Right Issue
What do I mean by this? I mean keeping the central things central in our focus versus getting focused on peripheral things. When we look at the whole of scripture, what things are a big deal to God? This has to do with core Gospel truths and clear descriptions of God and his work in humanity and creation as opposed to alternative interpretations of certain texts.
If two people believe salvation comes only by grace through faith in Jesus Christ as the Son of God who died for our sins, but disagree on whether women should wear dresses or pants, it’s probably not worth splitting hairs over.
Salvation by grace through faith in Jesus is a big deal in Scripture. The specific way in which women apply modesty in dress isn’t as much.
If we’re going to draw a line of association, let’s make sure we’re drawing it over the right issues.
Embracing Who We Are
It makes a big difference depending on why we are at where we are at.
Am I running from something? Am I listening to select voices or do I let others speak into my life and interpretations of scripture?
Do I even pursue others who I know disagree with me to speak into my life?
Am I at where I’m at because I’ve had some experience in fleshing out before held beliefs and realized something is missing? Am I at where I’m at because I have experienced something better? Or am I at where I’m at just because I don’t like what I have?
One of the trends I notice in my generation (millennials), and maybe even the next, is to conclude if we shouldn’t draw a line of fellowship, then we should just absorb into the greater Christian culture at large. We don’t seem to have a healthy concept of diversity in community.
I’m not sure that just because I shouldn’t draw a “line of fellowship” with someone who disagrees with me on how women should apply modesty in dress means I should simply begin practicing everything they do. I may be wrong and they may be right. Or vice versa. It’s a peripheral issue, meaning it’s somewhat ambiguous in scripture.
That means, we need to have the maturity of being willing to embrace who we are while at the same time not necessarily demanding others to change or assuming we need to change. We end up acting a little bit like insecure teenagers trying to fit in with classmates at a new school.
Here’s another question to ask: “Is it wrong that different churches emphasize different things?” What if God intentionally designed the Church to express Itself, and therefore serve people, in various different ways?
Letting Jesus Handle the Unknowns
Reality is, there are many things we probably won’t have clear answers to this side of heaven. Should women wear pants? Is it okay for Christ-followers to go to war? Is physical healing a part of the atonement?
Maybe the conclusions I’ve come to on these answers are wrong. I don’t think so. But neither do I know for sure, and we need to walk humbly enough to fellowship with others we may disagree with on some of these issues by letting Jesus handle the unknowns.
Faith journeys aren’t clear. Otherwise it wouldn’t take faith. And walking with God is a journey of faith. Many things about him and how he works are more ambiguous than we like to think. But that doesn’t mean we need to just throw our hands up and say none of it matters.
I believe we can learn a healthy way forward by asking the right questions, focusing on the right issue, embracing who we are, and letting Jesus handle the rest.
How do you process relating with other Christians who believe or practice things differently than yourself? Share in the comments below.
