When I first began writing, I was talking with an older friend of mine, a well-respected preacher, who made a comment that stuck with me and shaped the posture from which I write. He said, “Don’t let the fact that twenty years from now you will say it differently keep you from saying it today.”
What I took from this is that I will say things differently. In twenty years, I will have a healthier, fuller perspective on life and God’s Word and I will say things better, more truthfully, and quite likely, more effectively.
But I also took from his statement that just because I will say things differently—even better—does not mean I have nothing to say today. It does not mean I do not have an accurate handle on truth or wisdom. We could even point to several passages in Scripture where young men are recognized and affirmed in their example for all believers as disciples of Christ and teachers of other disciples. (Job 32:6-22, 1Tim. 4:12, Titus 2:7-8).
Should Joshua Harris Have Written a Book at Twenty-One?
I have really appreciated watching Joshua Harris’ journey in re-evaluating what he wrote in I Kissed Dating Goodbye. He is in the middle of documenting his journey as he engages in conversation with those who were hurt by the book and seeking to bring deeper health and reconciliation to the discussion of romance (you can find more about this documentary here).
I have not heard him express regret for writing the book, but I have heard him acknowledge remorse for how it was written. I’ve heard him talk about ways he has personally grown and stories others have shared with him about the dangerous ideology that was built from his teaching. Some would say he is responsible for that. Some would criticize him for having written a book at all at such a young age.
To be honest, though, I believe he deserves our admiration. Nobody is perfect. And no matter how old you are when you begin writing, twenty years later you will see errors in what you said. That doesn’t mean what you said was entirely wrong. And just because some things you said may be wrong, doesn’t mean the whole shebang should be done away with.
“I was wrong.”
The real question, the real test of whether someone deserves respect or not, is if they are willing to change. Are they willing to say, “I was wrong”? Is an author humble enough to engage in dialogue with those who vehemently oppose what he wrote? Even if he, himself, doesn’t change his beliefs, is he able to listen and learn?
It makes him look weak, and we as humans don’t like weak appearing heroes. We want idols. We don’t want to have to do the work of discerning right from wrong. We’d rather worship someone and have them lead us to a pain-free, un-confusing life. But an author (or speaker or teacher or parent or mentor or young adult or child) willing to grow in what he believes and correct what he has said in the past is, indeed, the kind of person worth listening to. He’s not trying to make a name for himself. He is keenly aware of his own fallibility. And he is humble enough to own and correct his mistakes.
The goal is not to say it perfectly. The goal is to say it humbly.
Don’t Wait until You’ve Arrived
So, as my friend suggested: say it. Say what God has laid on your heart. But say it in a way that is humble, that can be spoken into, and that is willing and able to change as your understanding grows.
I am convinced one of Satan’s number one tactics for destroying the church is getting us to believe we must wait until we have arrived before we can say anything of value. No one would put it so bluntly. Instead, we frame as needing to do “better research” or waiting until we have had a certain amount of life experience, a certain degree, a certain level of responsibility or influence. We buy into the idea that wisdom only comes with age and character only comes with experience. And, while age and experience can certainly add to both, we forget true wisdom and character come through humility and learning from the past.
And anyone of any age can begin living with humble introspection, today.
The reality is, age does not guarantee humility and experience does not assure character. So, don’t wait for age. Live it now. And as you live in humility and character, God will begin using you to speak His Truth to those around you.
Question: Do you appreciate seeing an author’s journey of growth in his writings? Have you ever shared something you deeply believed with others only to realize later you were mistaken? Did you find it easy or difficult to acknowledge and correct? Let’s talk in the comments below.
