How to Overcome Frustrations with Church and Live Vibrant for Christ

I used to think it was my church holding me back from being a better Christian. I thought because of the way it was structured, cultural traditions, or the other people within it, I couldn’t fully live as the New Testament shows disciples of Christ living. Now, I know what actually holds me back is not my church, but my focus.

With so many ways of interpreting and applying the Bible, it’s not uncommon to develop frustrations with church. If my church asks me to wear certain clothes because that is what they think modesty means, what about all the other Christians who don’t dress the same way? They have authentic, vibrant relationships with Christ. In fact, they seem to be having a greater impact on our culture. Why should I do what my church says?

Sometimes it can feel as if our interpretations and applications of scripture make it impossible for others to join our church unless they completely abandon their background. So, if we want to influence society it seems that we should change. Like quit doing things the way we’re taught in church and embrace the way culture does it—at least the way those believers who are having a greater impact do it.

But is that really the problem?

Should we change our church standards? Should we scrap all the external things that feel like they get in the way?

What if it is possible to be fruitful for Christ without making a big raucous over what our church requires? Better yet, what if it’s possible to bring about positive change in our churches without fracturing relationships?

I know by experience there are times we come to irreconcilable differences. And to be honest, I’m not sure if we can always avoid those. What I am sure of is that far too often I think things are irreconcilable when they aren’t. I conclude my church is dead when it isn’t.

I assume my church is holding me back when it’s actually my focus keeping me from living fully alive in Christ.

When my focus began to change, as God gently revealed sinful attitudes in my heart and showed me through His Word more His design for church, I found myself less frustrated with others. I also became more fruitful for Christ.

Instead of focusing on my frustrations with church and getting things just right, getting the right structure in place or getting rid of the wrong standards, I needed to focus on what Christ has done for me. I needed to remember the Gospel even as I related with fellow believers. Sometimes we see the Gospel as something we explain only to unbelievers. But what I discovered was the Gospel is the very foundation for how we, the Church, should relate. The Good News of Jesus Christ doesn’t become irrelevant as soon as we believe in Him.

And that Good News is that Jesus moved toward me even while I was sinning. I can have a relationship with God, even though I can’t keep the law perfectly. Christ has justified me.

Why is this important when it comes to relating with people in church? Because in the same way, Christ justifies and beautifies His church even though we aren’t always doing church perfectly. Even though my church may not always get things right, we may be hung up over seemingly petty issues, God is pursuing us.

If we forget the Gospel once we are “in” the Church, we begin living with the wrong focus. And if we live with the wrong focus, we will always be held back from being fruitful and vibrant for Christ.

Now, maybe you’re thinking, “This is great, but you don’t understand my church. We are so focused on dress standards and music styles—no one even really cares about being truly fruitful for Christ. Why should I stay around a church like that?”

Maybe relationships in your church feel too damaged and you wonder if they are mendable. Or perhaps you just don’t connect with anyone there and you feel dead, in need of life.

Those are real and painful struggles, and we’ll look at them more in the next post.

Remembering the Gospel is just the start of sorting through frustrations with church.

It is the foundation we must build on if we’re going to bring healing where there is brokenness. So, don’t give up just yet.

In the next post, we’re going to look at how we get “community” wrong, and what it means to “be of one mind.”

Until then, I’d like to hear what is one thing that causes you to feel held back in your church? What frustrations do you face? Drop me a note in the comments.

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