Romance is the term typically used to describe the relationship between a man and woman as he is wooing her affections. It’s cool when a couple married for forty-three years still romance each other. I want to be that kind of couple.
Even cooler, is when my Grandparents who have been married for over sixty years do it. And yes, I’ve seen it at times. He calls her “Grandma,” and might say something slightly cheesy and we all ooh because for some reason it feels like only eighteen and nineteen year olds say such things.
But that’s different. Romance at eighty has a different feel than it does at eighteen. It has a different feel at twenty-four than it did at twenty.
Romance, the way we perceive it at first, like the ecstatic feeling of affection on the first date, or the hot sparks and fireworks that electrify your phalanges at the first kiss—that kind of romance doesn’t work.
Here’s why: Romance then is based on feelings of affection. It’s like being excited for the first time your traveled overseas: the only reason it’s exciting is because it is something new (and because you haven’t experienced many new things, yet).
Those feelings won’t last. They never do.
And if you are somewhere between the ages of eighteen and twenty-four and have never been married, here’s something you need to grasp: it’s okay that those feelings don’t last.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not giving up on being romantic. A few nights ago I turned on music and lit a candle for a romantic time with my wife. I still take her on hot dates. I like getting her flowers and wooing her affections.
But the romance that truly lasts, the romance my grandparents experience in their eighties, is based on something much more stable than feelings. Romance lasts when it is based on the purpose of why we have romantic relationships in the first place.
Here’s to this years’ sixth most-read post, Why Romance Doesn’t Last: rescuing romantic love from trendy Christianity.
Question: What is the difference in the romance between twenty-year olds and the romance between sixty-year olds? Share in the comments.
