Are you listening now?[1]
Can we pause a moment and simply hear the cries of the people? Can we lay aside excuses for deflecting ownership of the sin of racism and simply sit with our black brothers and sisters in their pain, hearing the horrors they tried telling us about while we refused to listen?
So maybe we weren’t “refusing to listen.” Maybe there were what seemed to be “logical” explanations for experiences our friends told us about… and couldn’t quite put to words for us in a way that was undeniably clear acts of racism.
But wait—isn’t that how you know someone is refusing to listen, when they respond to every example with an explanation for why it isn’t what you think it is?
This world is broken. Heart attitudes toward each other wreak with prejudice and pride.
It’s time we as white people of God stop figuring out other answers for seemingly weird (and racist) experiences.[2]
It’s time we as white men and women of God stop focusing on our own pain received and issues faced.
It’s time we as whites grieve.
It’s time we grieve the loss of black men and women around this nation.
It’s time we grieve the prejudice so deeply embedded within our society.
It’s time we grieve the chaos such prejudice produces—on either side of the issue.
Right now, we don’t need words or opinions. We simply need to grieve. And listen. And say their names: George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Ahmad Arbery. And grieve with those who loved them.
When Jesus learned of death, he didn’t tell those around him about all of his close friends who had died. Neither did he suggest some reasons for why the person may have ended up dying that way.
He simply wept, and grieved.
It’s time for whites to grieve. Once we’ve allowed our hearts to be deeply wrecked by the pain of others, something other than tokenization and heroism can begin to motivate our activism.
And this nation needs whites to be active in fighting against racial injustice.
So please, allow yourself to grieve.
Are you someone who wants to be able to look people in the eyes without having anything to hide and to be able to fight for others? Yet, maybe you’re looking at porn or habitually masturbating. You feel guilt and as if you’re less of a man, but aren’t sure how to gain victory.If that’s you, I invite you to check out my brand new book, Live Free: Making Sense of Male Sexuality.
[1] Here are a couple first-hand accounts of how black people are treated by cops, and white people’s responses to their stories: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1742372209398610/permalink/2321764288126063/, https://www.facebook.com/morethannothing/posts/3589531424396586.
[2] As Joshua Good says, “…we must be willing to consider that some people have experiences that don’t immediately register with us.” https://www.facebook.com/joshua.b.good.3/posts/10159546971699918.
