It’s Okay to Enjoy Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day can be a tricky event to navigate. It’s a day completely set aside for celebrating romantic love.

But not everyone has romantic love to enjoy.

Some have been deeply hurt in their romantic pursuits.

What are they supposed to do when the calendar, shopping centers, and churches unashamedly celebrate the seemingly elusive experience of deep and meaningful romance?

Personally, I cringe at days such as this because I feel our culture worships marriage. Through a plethora of subtle habits, we communicate to the world that a person hasn’t really lived until they’re married and have kids.

I think that’s a lie.

And one of my goals in life is to be a part of shifting the environment within the Christian church from an over-emphasis on marriage and family to equal validation of all mature adults, regardless of their marital status.

So, I’ve written articles asking the church to stop isolating singles. I have also exhorted us to stop idolizing marriage.

I have written at length about wrong views we have of romance. I’ve worked hard as a married man to break down barriers that many single people feel between them and their married brothers and sisters.

But there’s another lie that I think circulates all too often around our culture. It causes as much friction and creates as many barriers as an over-emphasis on marriage. In fact, this lie might be a little harder to pinpoint because there’s usually a lot of emotion behind those who propagate it or believe it.

It’s the lie that it’s wrong to enjoy Valentine’s Day.

Perhaps more to the core of the issue, the lie suggests that if two people love each other, feel deep affection for one another, and are starting a family together they should keep it to themselves and not flaunt it in front of everyone else.

But I think that just as the church needs to remember single people are mature adults too and that marriage is not the point of life, the church also needs to remember that it’s a beautiful thing when those who are married or pursuing a romantic relationship enjoy the adventurous journey of intimacy.

I will go so far as to say it is a beautiful thing when singles long for that kind of romantic intimacy.

It’s not wrong for people to be exasperated about the attention marriage gets.

But neither is it wrong for people to see marriage as a glorious and worthy pursuit.

God has embedded some kind of mysterious beauty and allegory of his own relationship with humanity into the DNA of marriage and family. When this kind of love relationship is done well and thoroughly enjoyed, the world around such a relationship gets a more accurate perspective of God’s love and enjoyment of them as his creation.

At the end of the day, I think what we are all looking for is verbal recognition that we matter, that just because I’m not at the same stage of life is you doesn’t mean one of us is missing out on something.

We want to know that others understand our specific stage of life and care about the visions and passions and joys and heartaches we experience as singles, as childless couples, as busy young parents, as empty-nested grandparents, as widows and widowers, as children still living at home, or whatever best describes our current stage of life.

So, if today you are dating, married, or thinking of dating and getting married, and you find yourself nestled in a candlelit dinner enjoying the company of the one you love, know that it’s okay.

Enjoy it.

Thank God for it.

Remember that how you interact in your love life paints a picture for the world to see of how God interacts with them.

And if instead you were asked to babysit, or if instead you are left alone reminded of the time you once had a date on Valentine’s Day, know that you matter.

Your longings matter.

Your pain matters.

Your life matters.

And not because you can babysit or do different things for those of us with families, but because you have a perspective on life, love, and relationships (as well as everything else) that we need to hear just as much as we hear own.

Whoever you are and wherever you are, remember that it is okay to enjoy today.

Question: What are you doing this Valentine’s Day? Share in the comments below.