We stood on the hillside watching the city completely engulfed in flames. Jerusalem had been totally destroyed.
Startled, my wife sat straight up in bed gasping, groping for air and dripping in sweat.
“What do you think it means?” she asked me the next morning as we recounted her dream the night before.
I didn’t know. Just as I didn’t know what the five other dreams had meant.
“Is God trying to tell us something?” she pondered.
We talked a little more, prayed about it, and then moved on with our day. This happened several times in the first couple years of our marriage. Not so much anymore, which is just as puzzling to me as the dreams were.
I still don’t know what all those dreams meant.
There was one time she had a dream specific about her brother and it caused us to pray for him in the middle of the night. Later we found out he needed prayer right in that moment. Other times her dreams were so ridiculous we sat together and laughed.
But Jerusalem destroyed? That one still baffles me!
I don’t dream. Not like she does, anyway. Sometimes I wish I could dream like her because then I could maybe understand better what her dreams might mean. I dream about every other month, on Fridays. And my dreams are almost always the same.
So, how do I know when God is trying to speak to us through my wife? How can we know when dreams are revelations of God or manifestations of too much pizza?
Even beyond dreams–how do we know when God is speaking to us or when we’re just thinking up our own thoughts?
Sometimes we have dreams or thoughts and they seem important, they feel like revelations, but their meaning alludes us. We feel confused and stuck, lacking confidence in moving forward in what we believe God has spoken to us.
What’s frustrating about this is that Christians are to be led by the Spirit of God, we should be able to tell when He is speaking to us. Why does it seem so hard, at times?
I’ve certainly wrestled with confusion. Still do, sometimes. But there are a few things my wife and I are learning that help us better discern when God actually is saying something to us.
Knowing God.
When we are walking in a close relationship with God it’s much easier to tell when He is trying to get our attention. Having a close relationship with God means spending time with him, reading what he has already revealed in his Word, and talking with him.
If there is anything we can know for sure is God saying something, it’s His message in the Bible. We must know the Scriptures well if we want to know God’s voice from other’s.
I’ve noticed two things that can make reading God’s word confusing, however. First of all, if we have the mindset that God has a specific plan or will for every minute detail of our lives, we’re going to find moving forward in confidence challenging because his word doesn’t address every minute detail of our lives. Sometimes he wants us to use the wisdom he has given us to make decisions and pursue goals that bring him glory.
Secondly, it’s easy for us to pull one passage of scripture completely out of its literary context—especially, when we’re digging for answers to minute details of our lives. When we do this, we can begin believe God will do things that he in fact never actually said he would do.
For instance, when Isaiah said, “You will hear a voice in your ears saying ‘This is the way, walk in it,” we often think that is referring to the Holy Spirit giving direction for each decision in life (Is. 30:21). However, according to its literary context, Isaiah is probably talking about a prophet telling the people of Israel which way is the way of Truth.
Because of taking scripture out of context, we assume the Holy Spirit will whisper to us the answer for every decision we face in life when he actually might not.
Let’s immerse ourselves into God’s word. Let’s read it literarily, meaning that we take passages within their contexts. Let’s spend time with him, conversing with him. It won’t take long before we can tell his voice above our own.
Knowing ourselves.
The better we know ourselves the easier it is to spot our own carnal thinking.
Paul says that even those who have the first fruits of the Spirit groan inwardly, waiting the day of redemption (Ro. 8:23). In other words, until we have been fully redeemed, we are stuck in bodies held under the bondage of corruption. We can be free in the inner man, but are always fallen in our flesh.
I long to see increased emotional health in the church. We read the Bible, other people, and God differently according to what we are looking for emotionally.
If I am really wanting to ask a certain girl out, I’ll read scripture and impressions I get all through an emotional filter of wanting to ask that certain girl out. It won’t be hard to get a confirmation for pursuing her.
If I am really struggling with resentment towards someone in church, I’ll read scripture, impressions—even vibes from them—through an emotional filter of resentment. It won’t be hard to justify my critical attitude. I’ll be able to quickly sense “a spirit of pride,” or whatever about them happens to prick my ego.
Unless we know ourselves well, and are honest, we’ll inevitably confuse our own emotions with the voice of God.
Knowing and following peace.
I can’t help but think it’s part of God’s design for us to find it a bit mysterious to discern his voice. If knowing when God is speaking or knowing what God thinks about every situation was easy, we would probably use that knowledge for selfish purposes.
We would use it to play God in other people’s lives.
Sometimes we simply need ponder the dream or thought or idea. Time has a way of clarifying whether it was God or pizza, God or my emotions, God or a hair-brained idea.
There have been times in mine and Teresa’s life where we weren’t entirely sure if God was speaking to us, but we couldn’t shake it. Months had gone by and it kept coming back to us, so we began moving forward. And in moving forward there was peace, things became even clearer.
Other times, in moving forward we bumped into a closed door. And maybe we would try another door, but that one would be closed as well.
Sometimes I think we can have the mindset that we need to know without a doubt that it is God before we begin following it. But I think what God is actually looking for is a heart of humility and trust.
In other words, we move forward because we think God is sayings something. But we could be wrong (humility). And if he happens to close the door and make it impossible to accomplish or move into what we think he is telling us, we accept it as his directing us in the right direction (trust).
The key is walking in peace. Not forcing things into being, but neither standing still when you feel you should move but are too scared.
I waited to mention peace until after talking about knowing God’s Word and knowing ourselves because we can mistake circumstantial peace for divine peace. Knowing God and knowing ourselves help us navigate through circumstantial lack of peace.
What I mean is, if your church is going through conflict and you decide to leave, you will experience circumstantial peace. You are no longer in the middle of the conflict.
Or if my wife I can’t get along and we divorce, life will feel smoother because we’re no longer living in the middle of turbulence.
But simply walking away from conflict is the opposite of what the New Testament teaches as walking in unity. Divorcing my wife is the opposite of what Jesus teaches as love. In cases like these, regardless of the “peace” I may feel it would not be God’s will for me to walk away.
However, the more we know God and the more we understand our own tendencies, the more clearly we can see and experience God’s deep, inner peace. Sometimes he leads us to do things that don’t make sense logically, that may even cause circumstantial discomfort. But as we pursue what he is leading us to do, we realize a deep, stable peace that guides us through any obstacles we face along the way.
One more thought.
Sometimes the reason we struggle to discern God’s voice is because we’re bound by lies from the devil. One of the ways I am learning how to tell if what I am thinking is a lie or truth is by recognizing accusation leads to death; conviction (by God) leads to repentance and life.
Paul says to the Corinthians,
As it is, I rejoice, not because you were grieved, but because you were grieved into repenting. For you felt a godly grief, so that you suffered no loss through us. For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death. -2 Corinthians 7:9-10
In my experience, Satan often holds us bondage to lies by confusing us about whether God is convicting us. You want to know if a thought is of God? Ask yourself about its effects on your heart and life. Does it bring relief? “Ah, that makes sense! God, I am sorry!” Or does it bring self-condemnation? “I gotta stop this! I must not love God enough!”
Neil Anderson, founder of Freedom Life Ministries and author of the bestselling book The Bondage Breaker, says, “When your feelings of remorse pound you into the ground and drive you from God, you are being accused by Satan. Resist it. But when your sorrow draws you to confront Christ and confess your wrong, you are being convicted by the Spirit. Yield to it through repentance.”
I realized if I was going to discern the difference between lies and truth, I would need to evaluate where my thoughts come from by seeing where they are going to lead me. Anderson goes on to say, “Don’t believe anything Satan says about you; believe everything God says about you.” The more we absorb into our minds and hearts what God says (instead of what Satan says), the more clearly we can discern His voice.
Finally, whenever I think God has spoken to me, I like to present it subjectively. Be careful about insisting that would you heard is of God. If it is not God that has spoken, and we demand it is God, we will breed confusion. If God truly has spoken, he doesn’t need you or me to make it any stronger. He will make it clear. He simply needs us to walk in submission to his Spirit.
As we know God more fully and understand ourselves more completely, walking in his divine peace, we will gain clarity, confidence, and deeper communion with God. We will better discern his voice above our own.
Do you have an experience of hearing God? Share it in the comments below.
