Rosaria Butterfield has recently “repented” from using what she calls, “transgender pronouns.”
In the summer of 2023, she wrote a disappointing article called, “Why I no longer use Transgender Pronouns—and Why You shouldn’t, either.” I don’t call this a disappointing article because we come to two different conclusions on the usage of pronouns. I call this a disappointing article because she violates her own conviction for Truth in the process of making her argument. Articles like this work to divide the church, not unite it around Jesus Messiah.
If you’re not familiar with her, Rosaria Butterfield is a former tenured professor of English at Syracuse University. She once identified as lesbian but then rejected all of that after coming to Christ in 1999. Her memoir, The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert, chronicles that difficult journey. She is now married to Kent Butterfield, a Reformed Presbyterian pastor in North Carolina, and is a homeschool mother, author, and speaker.
Why Butterfield Matters
I have tremendous respect for Rosaria Butterfield. She is someone who has come from having incredible hostility towards God to now being deeply in love with Jesus. She once drank hook, line, and sinker everything the progressive left said regarding LGBTQ+ issues. She once shared their ideology and their way of looking at life. Now she lives by the question, “What does Jesus teach on this?”
Butterfield demonstrates what it looks like to surrender to God’s design instead of doing what might feel easiest.
Her books have been incredibly powerful. I consider The Gospel Comes with a House Key to be a must read for any Christian seeking to make disciples. Which should be all of us. It teaches us how to approach people by engaging them with questions and entering their stories instead of simply stuffing them with dogma.
Whenever I am researching anything about gender and sexuality, I always appreciate reading or hearing what Rosaria has to say. Having said that, there are some patterns I’ve noticed in Rosaria’s life that have saddened me.
Perhaps it has to do with the version of Christianity she was discipled by. I don’t know. But I’ve noticed a fundamentalist flavor in her take on things. Particularly, I’ve noticed sweeping statements of judgment about other brothers and sisters in Christ. She seems to contradict her own approach at times. On one hand she claims to value truth and telling people truth. Yet, on the other hand, she seems to not value truthfully representing people who disagree with her. That’s a matter of integrity. You can’t say that you value Truth and then grossly misrepresent someone’s perspective when it differs from yours. Sometimes she neglects to represent it at all. But it doesn’t seem to give her pause in speaking judgmentally about that person. I find that disappointing.
As I said, I appreciate her perspective. I like being sharpened, challenged, and nudged. I value the personal experience she brings to this conversation.
But I’m disappointed by the way she compromises her own conviction for truth in how she represents brothers and sisters in Christ who disagree with her.
We live in a day and age when we’re so obsessed with either telling truth or loving non-Christians. Yet it seems as though many of us have completely forgotten that it’s how we relate to brothers and sisters in Christ that testifies to the world, whether or not we are disciples of Jesus (Jn. 13:35).
Instead, we run over each other. We’re all about telling truth! But we’re not gonna accurately represent our opponents.
Or we’re all about loving people! But we’re not going to love the brothers and sisters who hold strongly different views than we do.
That’s really sad to me. It also seems rather hypocritical.
Christianity and Gender Identity: Navigating Pronouns with Love and Understanding
Real people are having experiences that cause inner turmoil around their identity as male or female. This is what we call “gender dysphoria.” The issue is not so much rightly defining gender, as some political and cultural pundits might have you believe. The issue is how to help people navigate their human experiences in such a way that leads them to true inner peace.
Butterfield’s Article
In her article, Butterfield discusses how she used to support LGBTQ+ causes before becoming a Christian. While she used to use what she calls “transgender pronouns,” she now believes doing so is sin. She wrote the article because she feels the need to publicly admit her mistake, not just correct her actions. Butterfield went on to talk about the conflict between LGBTQ+ acceptance and traditional Christian beliefs. Unfortunately, she did not fairly represent those with whom she disagrees. Let me summarize her arguments against using transgender pronouns:
1. Violation of Commandments:
Butterfield asserts that using “transgender pronouns” goes against the ninth and tenth commandments. The ninth commandment pertains to not bearing false witness or lying. The tenth relates to not coveting. She believes that using such pronouns involves embracing falsehood and encouraging others to do the same.
2. Against Creation Ordinance:
She argues that using “transgender pronouns” is against the creation ordinance as outlined in the Bible. She sees gender and identity as part of God’s design. Using “transgender pronouns” to refer to individuals who identify differently is, in her view, contrary to this design.
3. Image-Bearing and Sanctification:
Butterfield believes that using “transgender pronouns” discourages a believer’s progressive sanctification. These pronouns distort the understanding of God’s image in humans. She suggests that this practice can hinder believers’ growth in faith and understanding of their identity in Christ.
4. Falsifies the Gospel:
She asserts that using “transgender pronouns” undermines the gospel message and the transformative power of Christ’s sacrifice. Butterfield believes that the act of using such pronouns contradicts the biblical narrative of redemption and salvation.
5. Loving Neighbor:
Butterfield argues that using “transgender pronouns” fails to love one’s neighbor as oneself. She contends that true Christian love involves speaking the truth. It further involves, in her view, adhering to biblical principles rather than conforming to cultural trends.
6. Hospitality and Identity Politics:
Butterfield criticizes psychologist Mark Yarhouse and author Preston Sprinkle pretty strongly. According to her, they believe that using such pronouns can be a form of hospitality and necessary for maintaining relationships with transgender individuals. Butterfield suggests that it yields to liberal communitarianism and identity politics. Furthermore, she believes that genuine Christian hospitality should not compromise biblical truth.
7. Satanic Influence:
Butterfield categorizes “transgenderism” as “satanic.” She argues that adopting “transgender pronouns” aligns Christians with a theology that contradicts the gospel and leads believers away from the true path of salvation.
8. Rejecting Clarity of Scripture:
She contends that those who advocate for the use of “transgender pronouns” reject the clarity of the Bible’s teachings. Instead, they replace it with a distorted version of Christianity.
Overall, Butterfield’s viewpoint is rooted in her interpretation of biblical principles and her understanding of gender and identity.
These seem to me to align more with fundamentalist Christianity than historical Christianity. Such strong language about other Christian viewpoints is a pattern of fundamentalism. Rather than engaging what Yarhouse and Sprinkle actually say about pronouns and scripture’s teaching on gender and sexuality, she resorts to sweeping statements about them rejecting the clarity of scripture.
Pronoun Hospitality
If Rosaria Butterfield cares deeply about truth, I would not have caught that based on her representation of Preston Sprinkle. Sprinkle, along with Mark Yarhouse, support what they term “pronoun hospitality.” Sprinkle addresses this in his book Embodied: Transgender Identities, the Church, and What the Bible Has to Say.
In the book, Sprinkle interacts with various viewpoints around the usage of “transgender pronouns.” He treats those who take Butterfield’s perspective far more generously than Butterfield treated him. But he also makes clear that he personally supports “pronoun hospitality.” This means using the pronouns someone prefers, even if they’re different from their biological ones, to show respect.
He spends nine pages presenting several reasons to support this viewpoint. While I don’t have space to go that in-depth, I do hope to do a better job presenting the perspective than Butterfield did.
1. Flexibility of Language:
Sprinkle argues that language is shared social space that evolves over time and changes between cultures. Pronouns can refer to gender identity rather than just biological sex. Language evolves based on cultural usage, and pronoun usage has expanded to include gender identity. Thus, using preferred pronouns is not necessarily lying but rather adapting to the flexibility of language. An example from scripture of this kind of usage of language is when Jesus said “man shall not live by bread alone…” Jesus wasn’t merely talking about biological males. He was talking about all of mankind. Yet, we are okay with the fact that the Bible only cites one pronoun because we understand the flexibility of language usage in describing things.
2. Biblical Precedent:
Sprinkle gives examples from the Bible where the language was changed to make sense to the people listening. For instance, Sprinkle points out how in Paul’s speech in Acts 17, “the apostle quotes from two different pagan texts:
God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us. ‘For in him we live and move and have our being.’ AS some of your own poets have said, ‘We are his offspring.’ (v. 27-28)
“The two bolded pronouns him and his are part of quotes from two pagan poets, Epimenides and Aratus, respectively. In both cases, the original Greek writer used the pronouns to refer to Zeus, the head deity of the GReek pantheon of gods. Yet Paul still quotes these texts, pronouns and all, reframing them to refer to Yahweh. Paul meets his audience where they are in order to communicate God’s message to them. His audience believes him/his refer to Zeus. Paul applies the pronouns to Yahweh. Paul speaks in language his listeners can understand, inviting them to a game of soccer by asking them to play football. (Or, if you fancy a British Paul, just flip it around.)” This shows that changing how we talk can help people understand better. It’s about valuing people over sticking strictly to word meanings.
3. Respect and Relationship:
Using preferred pronouns is a way to show respect and build relationships, even if you don’t agree with everything. Not using someone’s preferred pronouns can make it hard to build connections. Using these pronouns doesn’t mean you agree with everything they believe.
4. Avoiding Harm:
Sprinkle also talks about how using preferred pronouns can stop harm. For some people, not being called by their chosen pronouns can hurt them emotionally and even lead to harmful actions.
5. Compassion and Relational Bridges:
Sprinkle thinks it’s important for Christians to build connections with others. Using preferred pronouns can be a way to show kindness and connect with people who might be hurting.
Sprinkle’s Response to Critics
Sprinkle also talks about people who disagree with this idea. He mentions worries about certain beliefs and the risk of language being used wrongly. For example, Sprinkle says,
“Both sides of this debate raise some good points, and any honest Christian should consider each view. Personally, I side with the case for pronoun hospitality. I’ll explain why in a second. But I want to first acknowledge some points in the first view that I consider valid.
“The point about ideology lying behind language is a good one. To repeat Rob’s point: ‘The reason this ideology is dangerous is because it creates and deepens delusions in confused and vulnerable people.’ Anyone who sides with the pronoun hospitality view should linger on this point and make sure we don’t dismiss it too quickly. There’s a thin line between language and ideology. And, to be frank, some things going on with language in contemporary culture are not only worrisome but could be destructive.
“Take Canada’s Bill C-16, for instance. This bill seeks to protect trans* people from discrimination and hate speech, which is a good thing. But some people argue that the bill could lead to jailtime for someone who refuses to use the pronouns a trans* person identifies with.
“It’s one thing for language to change meaning over time (like nice or girl) or between cultures (like football). But this happens naturally and by societal consensus. If a small group of activists demands that people be penalized or imprisoned for calling a biological male “he,” this would be closer to fascism than democracy. George Orwell would certainly have a thing or two to say. Calling a transwoman “he” or a transman “she” might be disrespectful, and it might have relational consequences. But it’s not necessarily hate speech. Using the pronouns a person identifies with should be a matter of common courtesy, not a legal demand. And I respect those who are wary of caving in to neo-Marxist ideological pressure. Real ideological battles are happening in the world right now, and Christians must navigate these battles in a way that embodies the countercultural, counterpopular, counterpolitical way of our crucified Savior.
“But as we’re finding our way through the battlefield, we need to make sure we’re not stepping on the necks of innocent people in the process.
“Yes, there are some activists who want to pressure and shame Christians into agreeing with their way of thinking. But there are also hurting people who live in our neighborhoods and sit in our pews, trapped in patterns of self-harm and suicidal ideation because they’ve been shunned and shamed so badly by the church that they genuinely believe God hates them. As trivial as pronouns may seem to you, something as simple as using a person’s chosen name and pronouns might be the small whisper of grace that nudges them to put the gun down and give this Christian thing one more chance.
“This is why I think the pronoun hospitality view is the better of the two approaches. To reiterate the point: language is shared social space that evolves over time and changes between cultures. Even the pronoun he has more flexibility than some people realize. According to several dictionaries, he can refer to a person whose sex is unknown—a synonym for “that one” or “that person.” This use of he was very common for centuries, and though it started to lose popularity with the rise of the feminist movement, it continues to be used today. Similarly, if we walk into a room of friends and say, “Hey guys!” and one of our friends who has a vagina says, “Um, I’m not a guy,” we typically roll our eyes and say, “Oh come on, you know what I mean!” The term guy sometimes indicates maleness, but it’s flexible enough to include people without a Y chromosome. And when the King James says, “He that hath ears to hear, let him hear” (Matt. 11:15 KJV), this doesn’t mean Jesus was letting everyone with ovaries off the hook.
“Again, none of this exactly parallels what we’re talking about. But it shows that language—even a pronoun like he or she—is shared social space that’s flexible. You could demand that your hearer immediately adopt your worldview, your theological anthropology, and your interpretation of Genesis 1:27 before you enter into relationship with them. Or you could meet them where they are, as a gesture of respect, in order to walk with them along the path of discipleship.”
Embodied: Transgender Identities, the Church, & What the Bible Has to Say
Overall, Sprinkle wants to handle the pronoun debate with kindness and understanding. As a disciple of Jesus, he wants to connect with others in a caring way. In my own personal experience, this bears more fruit of the Spirit than a dogmatic condemnation of so-called “transgender pronouns.”
Christianity and Gender Identity: Navigating Pronouns with Love and Understanding
This conversation is far more complex than we’ve given space for it here. I recently wrote a deep-dive essay on how Christians can navigate the pronoun discussion with love and understanding, which you can access when you become a Standard Member of Unfeigned Christianity here.
There are a few situations where my wife and I would discourage the posture of pronoun hospitality, such as in instances of Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria. However, in most cases, we have found it to open far more doors on God’s design for sexuality than insisting on calling people by the pronouns we believe they should use. Again, the conversation is quite complex and I interact with several challenges and objections in the essay, which you can read here.
Question: Have you been faced with the choice of whether to honor someone’s desired pronouns or call them by their biological pronouns? How did you navigate it? You can share about your experiences in the comments below.
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