What’s your story? Everyone has a story: how they’ve become who they are today. What’s yours?
Jerry grew up on the mission field. His parents were so involved in ministry they neglected to invest in him. He wrestled his whole life with feeling like God took his parents away from him and has little desire for Christianity
Candace has a Dad who teaches at a Bible school. Everyone admires him. But at home, her brother is abusing her, which her Dad ignores. She struggles to feel safe with men.
Brit is nearly thirty and not married. She desperately longs to be married, but no one has stuck with her long enough. She’s becoming cynical. She’s done her best to overcome whatever it is that keeps guys at bay, but nothing changes. Does she forget about men and make something of her life? Is she still supposed to be at home supporting her Dad? She feels locked from her dreams and uncertain of what to do next.
Andrew dated three ladies before meeting his wife. He thought each lady was the one. God had answered prayers. They seemed into it. But all three turned him down as soon as it felt like the relationship was finally going somewhere. He almost gave up on women, but then he met his wife. She embodied everything he appreciated about the other three, and more. They fell in-love and six months later got married. But what does he do with the pieces of his heart that were shared with those other ladies? He hears sermons about the dangers of giving your heart away. He wasn’t flirting. He was for real. They rejected him. But does that mean he can never give his heart fully to his wife? Or that if he did, it would only ever be part of his original heart?
Find a Way to Share Your Story
We all have stories. Maybe yours is similar to one of these. If God has shown or is showing you truth through the struggle, you have a story that you need to find a way to share. Doing so will not only help you find deeper resolution, it can help those in similar situations. It’s also a powerful way to pass on the truth that you’ve learned.
I recently shared about my journey with my Dad. Something everyone can relate with. It wasn’t easy to write, it felt like I imagine it feels to walk naked in public. But I figured that if I really wanted to help others find healing from their pain I would have to first tell my story.
Through our stories truth is internalized.
What You Risk in Sharing Your Story
It’s risky to share our story, but don’t we risk much more by not sharing our stories? By sharing how we’ve struggled and what God has spoken to us through that struggle, we may help someone grow in love for God in a way that would not have otherwise happened.
The people of Israel strayed from God because they quit sharing their stories. Dad and Mom quit telling their children how God had delivered them from the Egyptians, how He provided for them in the wilderness and what He spoke to them as they journeyed. They quit talking and children quit learning.
If we want to influence society for Christ we must tell our stories. If we don’t want the church to grow cold in love for God we must continually talk about what God is doing.
Why You Don’t Share Your Story
So why don’t we share them? What keeps us from opening up about our lives and letting others see what God is doing?
1. Fear
I think we fear rejection. What people will think of us if they knew what we really struggled with: bitterness towards a certain person, moral failure, abuse, mishandling finances—the list goes on.
We may also fear that others won’t realize the significance. That they will overlook what deeply impacted us and why. Especially if we’re telling stories of pain and disappointment.
Or we might fear that those our stories involve wouldn’t like us telling it. I hardly told anyone of my journey with Dad until he gave me permission to because I feared he wouldn’t like me talking about it. I know it probably felt even more vulnerable for him than it did for me and that is why I think it’s good to be sensitive to those our stories involve.
Out of respect for those involved and where you’re at in the struggle, you may not be able tell some parts of your story. But don’t let the fear of what people will think keep you from sharing it. If you can, find a respectable way to share it.
2. Insecurity
Another reason we don’t share our stories is because we feel insecure.
How many of you have said, “What do I have to say?” That’s just a passive way of being insecure. You have everything to say. You are someone today and you live the way you do for a reason. Why? That’s your story. Tell that. It will influence someone to keep on in their journey.
Maybe you feel that people wouldn’t identify. That your story is unique to you.
No two people live the exact same life, but we can all find a little bit of ourselves in each other’s stories. Perhaps the most profound things we have to say are what we feel others will identify with the least.
Don’t let the insecurity of not knowing if people will accept your story keep you from telling it.
3. Lack of know-how
Lastly, people don’t share their stories because they don’t know how. Yeah, they want to tell others, they want to influence people for Christ, but they’re not sure how to do that.
Where do I begin? What part do I tell? How do I tell it if I only have a few minutes?
How You Can Share Your Story
Let me give you four quick pointers that I’ve found in knowing how to share my story.
-Identify the value
This has to do with purpose. If there’s no value in your story, there’s no purpose in sharing it with anyone else. It’s not about helping others become better acquainted with you, it’s about you helping them.
If I told you about how I used to dream of being a carpenter, then later of being a professional baseball player, but finally I am actually a teacher, that wouldn’t really help you personally, would it? There’s no value in it for you. There’s no point in me telling those kinds of stories.
But to tell the story of how I found forgiveness in my relationship with Dad, that is full of value for you because most people at some point struggle similarly in their relationship with their Dad.
If you’re going to share your story and do it well, you must identify the value
-Visualize the struggle
This has to do with personalizing. If you can give a picture of the struggle you went through, people will visualize from their own life a similar struggle and the story becomes personal for them.
That’s what I did here by telling about the chair I built and my Dad not noticing it. Or when I told about the time my brother and I were reroofing a garage and Dad wasn’t pleased that we got the tar paper on while he was gone because it ended up having wrinkles.
Maybe you didn’t build a chair or reroof a garage, but because you can picture the story and the emotions involved, you can probably think of a related story from your own past. All of a sudden, the emotions I felt are emotions you can identify with and the story and struggle have become personal.
If your story is going to stick with others, they need to be able to visualize the struggle.
-Share HOW you resolved the struggle, or THAT you’re still in it
This has to do with application. If you don’t share how, people won’t know what to do with your story.
If you have a purpose, and you better not be telling it unless you do, then you need to share how you resolved your struggle so that you can achieve your purpose. Maybe you’re still in the struggle. Share that. Your purpose may be to simply share some truths you’ve learned from being in the struggle. Don’t try and act like you have it all together, just share where you’re at. But share it. Or it’s not applicable to others.
If you’re going to achieve your purpose in sharing your story, make it applicable.
-Find an avenue for telling others
This has to do with execution. Not the beheading kind, but the carrying out kind. You can identify your value, make the struggle visual and know how you resolved it but unless you have an avenue for sharing it, you never will.
If you’re going to actually share your story with others, you’ve got to find a way to share it.
Ways to Share Your Story
I’d like to end this post by giving you a handful of ways you can share your story. There’s many more ways, but hopefully this will get you going.
The one irrefutable law of telling your story no matter the avenue, is that there has to be relational connection with your listeners if it’s going to make a lasting difference. So whether you choose to tell your story via the Internet or face-to-face with people, you’ll need to care about relationships for it to mean anything.
One-on-one Conversation
The most profound way to share your story is to pick someone and tell them. Maybe it’s a sibling, a friend, a youth in the church, your wife or kids. One avenue for sharing your story is through conversation with those around you.
Writing
If I don’t write regularly, I get all pent-up inside and nearly explode. That may not be you, but then again, it may. Writing is a fantastic way to share your story. And the cool thing about writing is you can work it and rework it until it flows well and sounds just like you want to say it. You can start by journaling, initiate email conversations, launch a blog, post snippets on Facebook or Twitter, write a book—there’s many ways you can share your story through writing.
Video
Maybe you don’t write. That’s perfectly fine! My brother shares his story through video (check him out here). Anymore, it doesn’t take much to create a short video clip. Get a camera or use your computer camera. If speaking and video editing is more your thing, go for it! Create a blog full of videos. Or post videos to YouTube and share them on social networks.
Podcasting
Maybe you prefer speaking, but feel awkward about looking at a camera. Just use audio. There are many tools for podcasting and sharing them with the public. It doesn’t have to be a sermon, just a short clip of something you learned.
Photography/Art
Some people find it hard to put to words what they want to tell so they take pictures. Or paint pictures. Visualizing something leaves a greater impact on your memory than hearing something. A powerful way to tell your story is to create an image that explains a bit of it.
Music
And the last one I’ll share with you is music. Next to silence, the best way to express the inexpressible is through music. Some of you aren’t photographers or speakers, and you may not even be that comfortable writing but you can put powerful melodies together. Use it as an avenue for sharing your story.
A Final Word
The best way to teach truth is through story. If we as Christians want to influence our generation for Christ we should find ways to teach God’s Truth through our stories. When you combine heart (your story) and talent (the avenue through which you tell it) with God’s Truth applied to it, He will use it to make a tremendous difference in people’s lives.
