Growing up as a conservative Anabaptist, I heard a lot of teaching on dating and courtship. So much so that one of the common questions we discussed as young adults was, “How do you know when you’ve met ‘The One’?”
It seemed as though so many stars needed to align properly in order to be confident you’ve found someone you could commit your life to. Many talked about the importance of getting familial blessing, not being in debt, sharing the same views of child-rearing, and so forth.
While familial blessing is a valuable aspect to knowing whether you’ve met the one you should marry or not, it’s actually not the most important aspect.
I know several couples who did not have their whole family blessing and yet are thriving today. Sure, they have struggles just like any other couple. But their marriage is not “on the ropes.” Even if their marriage was on the ropes, I’m not sure that I’d call it the result of not having a family blessing. After all, there are plenty of couples who did have their family blessing and are not doing well today.
It is wise to recognize that several other key aspects play into determining whether you have found the one to spend the rest of your life with.
#1 – Consider how you handle conflict
We often overlook conflict resolution when thinking about romance. I mean, doesn’t simply thinking about conflict sort of ruin all romantic feelings?
For some, the simple presence of conflict may threaten the relationship. For others, conflict is a part of everyday life. It may involve intense arguments or just frequent back and forth and sharpening each other. There are various types of conflict. However, if we don’t have healthy ways for navigating any of them, we are almost certainly bound to self-destruct relationships. Accordingly, one of the first signs that I would look for is how the two of you handle conflict as a couple.
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