Marriage is exciting! Raising a family is wonderful. But is it the end? Now that I’m married and having children, am I fulfilling God’s calling on my life enough to just sit back and coast?
This past weekend our church went through the Hope for the Family video seminar put on by Dr. Marlin Howe—an excellent seminar, by the way. I recommend everyone take it. We are all born into a family system that has an influence on how we relate to our friends, to our church brothers and sisters and, most importantly, how we’ll relate in our future family. The more we understand our own family system and the more we see how we relate and why we relate that way, the better equipped we are to growing. There are no perfectly healthy family systems, so we’re all in the same boat as far as needing growth.
Teresa and I have done a lot of talking with each other about our own families, and the family we’re making. Many of you know that earlier last month we celebrated our first wedding anniversary. It’s hard to believe that it’s already been a year since we got married. On certain levels we still feel in the honeymoon stage, while on other levels I think we’re out of it. I’m sure others of you know what I’m talking about. Nonetheless, one thing a year of marriage has shown me is that I have a lot to learn!
As we’ve talked about our own experiences and what we long to see in our family, there are two absolutes that we long to live by in our family. We’re grateful to have had parents that modeled these for us. I’ll write about the first one in this post, and the second in my next post.
As worshippers of Christ, Christ calls us to actively disciple others. As wonderful as love is, it is not the end. Getting married and raising kids is not our “calling” or our final goal. I really believe that the call of every believer is to make disciples. And in scripture, we see the heart of God longing for His people to live among unbelievers and live out belief in Him through their work, their families, their teaching, their preaching, and any way they can find to engage those that don’t worship Jesus Christ.[1]
Already, after just a year of marriage, I have found that if Teresa and I are just about preserving our own comfort and deepening our own love, we run into trouble. We’ve got to stay focused on Christ and His greater call and, in so doing; we find deeper love and joy. It’s not about a happy family just for happy family’s sake. It’s about having a family that’s godly so that we may lead others to Christ.
Teresa and I long to apply this to our lives. One thing we have prayed about a lot in the last year is how we as a couple can make disciples. Are we to help plant churches here in LA? Are we to go overseas and help reach an un-reached people group? Should we start schools? Good News clubs? Do we need to go to Bible College to get an even deeper education in Scripture, linguistics, etc? We wrestle with these questions because many of them weren’t completely answered before we got married. God is beginning to connect dots for us. We don’t know what all the future holds, but we’re excited as He shows us the way. And as we wait for the next step we want to faithfully serve as best we know how right where we are.
[1] A brief overview: Beginning in Genesis 12, God calls forth a people, through, Abraham and He blesses them to be a blessing to all the nations. In Ezekiel 36 we see the people of Israel were to be blessing the nations they were among by glorifying God, but instead they profaned His name among the nations. The exact opposite of what He had commanded them. What is God’s heart? That among unbelieving nations His name would be glorified so that they may believe. Acts 1:8 shows us that the Spirit of God coming upon us as believers is for the purpose of being a witness from here to the remotest parts of the earth. Many of us have quenched the Holy Spirit by staying still and silent.
