In conservative Anabaptist circles, we often lose sight of what is important in modesty and focus on things that aren’t.
What is modesty, anyway? If I’m going to be a modest man does it mean I wear long-sleeve shirts and long pants? Or is that completely beside the point and I just need make sure I have a humble, self-deprecating spirit?
There’s a whole discussion on modesty that I won’t get into with this post (I’ve written about it here). I believe a good definition of modesty is an attitude of heart that causes us to live in such a way that does not bring attention to ourselves, but to the glory of God. For the purpose of this post, I want to point out seven things Anabaptists often consider “modesty issues,” but don’t really matter.
Does modesty in dress matter? I believe it does. There are several aspects of modesty and dress is one of them. What you and I wear matters because it may or may not bring attention to ourselves or to God. But here are seven things about dress that don’t matter:
1. The size of your veiling
The head veiling is a whole discussion in and of itself (maybe one day I’ll write on it). Is it a part of modesty? From what I understand of studying 1 Corinthians 11, and from the basis that part of modesty is properly displaying glory at appropriate times, I would have to say, “Yes. The veiling is a part of modesty.”
However, getting hung up on the size and style of veiling is majoring on a minor. It’s missing the point, and if we really want to teach modesty, we’ve got to be able to let that bunny trail go. When it comes to modesty, the size of the veiling isn’t what we should be arguing over.
2. The print on the clothing
Now, if the shirt says something inappropriate, that’s another issue. But it’s not a modesty issue. Whether the flowers are big or small does not determine whether one is modest or immodest.
3. The material of clothing
Whether something is too tight, or worn suggestively affects how modest the clothing is. But whether it’s cotton or wool, knit or woven is completely beside the point. Focusing on that will not cultivate a reverence for modesty.
4. Whether or not what you’re wearing is wrong
“What’s wrong with this” is the wrong question to ask. In a discussion on modesty we should not be trying to figure out what is wrong; rather, we should try to understand what God’s design for modesty is and what the purpose of modesty is in our dress. We should look at scripture and the culture of the New Testament to see how the early church applied the principle of modesty. Yes, some people get hung up on the material of the clothes and that’s pointless. But we’re not being any different if what we major on is whether or not what we wear is wrong.
5. Whether or not you wear a tie
This is not a modesty issue. It may be another issue, but it’s not about modesty. Don’t get side-tracked by things that don’t have to do with modesty in dress.
6. Whether it’s two pieces or one piece
It really doesn’t matter whether your clothing is in two pieces, four pieces, twenty-seven pieces, or one whole piece. You can be modest multiple different ways. What is really being wrestled with in this question isn’t modesty, it’s culture. The question we need to grapple with as disciples of Christ is whether or not that is something in our culture worth majoring on.
7. Whether or not it’s fashionable
One of the biggest lies in the discussion on modesty is that being fashionable is immodest. That could be true, but the definition of fashionable simply means “currently popular.” What if there is something that is currently popular that is also modest? Is it wrong to wear that?
People get scared of doing something popular because they think it means they’re being of the world. But that is reactionary and fear-based. Not Biblical. God gives us principles to follow in modesty, but no clear directive for dress, so we need to be careful of making requirements out of fear.
Furthermore, modesty not only means we don’t bring attention to ourselves, it means we bring attention to the glory of God. God is beautiful. Our ladies are designed by God to express His beauty. We men need to lead them in faithfully obeying Christ, but that doesn’t mean squelching the beauty God has instilled in them. Allowing our ladies dress beautifully (or dress us beautifully), is an act of worship if the dress brings attention to the glory of God.
Making modesty decisions based on whether or not it’s fashionable is not understanding the heart and purpose of modesty.
Don’t Get Hung-Up on Things That Don’t Matter
I think it’s really easy for us to try and play the Holy Spirit in people’s lives. We end up making requirements about things that should not be forced, but organically developed. I believe we need to teach Scripture and pray the Holy Spirit works in people’s lives.
What is important is that modesty in dress matters, and you and I are personally responsible for doing something about it. We can’t just go off and do our own thing, we need to make decisions about our dress that embrace modesty so that God is the one who is glorified in our lives and not our image or religiosity.
There are two ditches we could fall into: (1) dictating dress, or (2) ignoring modesty in dress. Both major on things that don’t matter and miss what really does.
